This is a very quick post to share a surprising incident that happened today before Trey’s last procedure here in Cincinnati.  Trey’s surgeon, Dr. Cotton, read my blog and was completely offended! Immediately prior to Trey’s last procedure (like 15 minutes before he was going to do another procedure on Trey), he came into the room and confronted me loudly about what I wrote!  He was disgusted, shocked and angered by what I wrote.  Hmmm…Who would have thought that the world-reknown expert on airway reconstruction would find time to FIND and READ my quite under-the-radar blog?  When I asked how he came to read it, he said “someone sent it to me”.  So whoever is out there passing on my blog entries to the senior most docs at CCH, thanks!   I’m flattered!

That said, let’s be clear on where I stand on Cincinatti Children’s and my experience here.  I made the decision to be away from 3 of my kids and my partner for almost a month…I paid out of pocket for a hotel for almost a month…I have sacrificed professional opportunities and personal commitments because my NJ-based docs said the BEST was in Cincinnati and I only want the best for my kids.  So here I am.  And I have not regretted a single minute of coming here.  Trey has been seen, diagnosed and treated by a team of the most knowledgeable physicians I’ve ever encountered.  They are comfortable, confident and clear on how to give Trey the best possible long-term outcome, even if it means short-term sacrifice.  While some here clearly prefer interactions with the kids, in all cases, the main priority is the health and well-being of children. 

From the minute the twins were born, with severe medical issues, I’ve only held on to one vision — sitting in my backyard on a glorious, summer day, watching all 4 of my kids running, playing and thriving — equipment- and care-free!  That vision has gotten me through  the most difficult moments of the past 3 1/2 years and I knew it would happen one day.  It’s all I’ve held on to…it was and is my oxygen.

Dr. Cotton, Dr. Boesch and Dr. Putnam are the first people to ever look me in the eye and tell me without reservation or hesitation that all I’ve dreamed of for 3 1/2 years  WILL happen without a doubt…and sooner than later.  Their team of extraordinary residents, fellows, nurse practioners, nurses, respiratory therapists, social workers and everyone else who we encountered over the last 3 1/2 weeks only contributed bright, shiny colors to an already vivid picture.  Rather than put this in a handwritten note to the team, as was my intention, the exchange with Dr. Cotton today, left me no choice but to prematurely and publicly thank his team for giving me a very private dream come true. 

I certainly hope that whoever sent the blog to the good Doctor in the first place, will take equal time to send him this.

Now, be clear, I’m not retracting a single word of what I said earlier.  Our healthcare system is a mess and should be completely overhauled, starting with people who sit in ivory towers, making decision on discharges, nursing, approvals and rejections based on a piece of paper.  Until more people speak out about the atrocities, they’ll never stop. 

AND any doctor that tells me I should leave with my sick kid who is clearly not ready to be discharged because he perceives that “I can’t afford it”, should either be sent to sensitivity training, to customer service training, back to school or to another industry where there is no interaction with people! 

In business, and hospitals are a business, perception is reality.  Rather than getting in my face about what I wrote…how about an apology for what I experienced?

Where’s Michael Moore when you need him?

Sorry for the stretch in between updates.  Where to start?  First, Trey is at about 75% healthy and he’s sleeping in the other room right now!  I brought him back to the hotel from the hospital today, with lots of meds and orders but he’s here.  He’s exhausted – hospitals are no place to rest or recouperate. 

 

He had a rough few days.  He narrowly avoided a blood transfusion, had partial collapses in both lungs and spent the entire weekend zonked out on morphine.  On Monday, when he was awake for more than 10 minutes, I was doing my silliest everything to get a little smile.  He stared at me like I escaped from “One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest”and then finally rolled over gave me his back!  Whatever, Trey…seriously, I was really sad that he was so miserable but that was pretty funny….a definitive “get the hell away from me statement” from a 3-year-old…gotta love it.

 

Despite all of that, they were prepared to discharge him on Monday because “surgically he’s fine”.  Even the nurses agreed that he wasn’t ready to go and told me to fight for him to stay. So after a very loud exchange with the attending physician, during which I used a few well-placed phrases like “is this how you treat all of the black families here?”, “My Dad’s a lawyer and his best friend’s a judge”, “I know the Pastor at Obama’s church”, “go get your boss’ boss”, “I might be tired but I’m not stupid.  I can see what’s going on here”…Somehow all of that caused the nonsense to stop and Trey stayed.  By the way, feel free to use those phrases in any situation that’s not going your way – at work, at any retail establishment, restaurants with poor service, in hospitals – it doesn’t even matter what race you are! 

 

Tuesday, when I came in, Trey had a HUGE smile on his face and was clearly on the mend. He let me hold him for the first time since the surgery so we watched about 6 hours of Discovery Channel, both equally riveted by “America’s Deadliest Catch” and did you know that baboons eat small animals like rabbits???  What the hell?  Anyway, when I came in this morning, he was good to go and so we went…

 

I will not bore you with the insurance craziness that has gone on over the last few days but I’ll share one thing that a doctor said to me when Trey was recommended discharged on Monday, “it’s so much cheaper for you if he goes home.  Do you know how much this hospital bill’s going to cost you? You can’t afford this.”  I just said “Do you know how expensive it’s going to be for you, your colleagues, Children’s Hospital, Blue Cross Blue Shield and everybody related to all of you if I sue because you prematurely discharged a baby on a vent that just had major surgery…so you could save me some money?”.  Cricket cricket.

 

I want you all to be the first to know that my next book will be called “Wow.  You Have To Work Really Hard to Be This Stupid:  The People In America’s Healthcare System”. 

 

So Trey’s back in the hospital on Monday for the second part of this procedure.  I expect him to come out on Tuesday.  In the meantime, I’m going to take him for a walk to meet some of the people here…it will remind him to brush his teeth at least 2x a day or he’ll lose them; always eat healthy so you don’t have to walk sideways through doors; he’ll learn that McDonald’s is not considered a nice, sit-down restaurant; learning how to read is not optional; and neither is learning how to speak.

 

Will check in!

 

Love,

Tami

Quick note from Cincinnati.  We had a drama-free flight from Newark, NJ to Cincinnati yesterday, except for the massive amount of turbulence…you feel everything in those little planes (3 seats plus Trey’s gurney).  The soothing bumping and altitude dropping (and me going “ah..is this normal?”) put Trey right to sleep.  I was looking for a flight attendant for a drink!  Alas, nobody but Trey, the 2 pilots, the 2 air medics and me.  Drink?  Cricket cricket.  Nerves…rickety rickety

 

Trey was in surgery today for 6 hours.  The surgeons removed part of one of his ribs (anatomy lesson to follow at a later date) to create a new airway for him.  They said the surgery went as expected but won’t be able to give any sort of positive/definitive info for 3 weeks, when the area begins healing and they remove the stint.

 

Trey is heavily drugged for the pain.  He opened his eyes long enough to look at me as if to say “what the  &&^%$#@$  ?”  I don’t blame him.  This is all very surreal.  He got a pretty high fever an hour after the surgery and is retaining water.  His respiratory and heart rate are significantly above normal but no one will get concerned unless the situation lasts 24 hours…so we’ll see what’s what tomorrow night. 

 

I was able to Skype with the kids tonight from the hospital room so they got a look at Trey and we all felt better being connected if only through a webcam and a laptop…gotta love technology.

 

Other than being sleep-deprived, food-deprived (brown gravy on EVERYTHING) and east coast-deprived, I’m well and keeping the faith that this is the beginning of the last leg of a very long journey.  Trey still has a few other issues that need to be dealt with but nothing nearly as significant as this one. 

 

Thought for the day – every day should be Mother’s Day!  We just do what we have to do for those we love the most no matter what.  I met a mom today who has a 13-month-old daughter (full-term, no issues) who was born with no ribs and a spine that’s missing the majority of its vertebrae.  That means she can never be upright, breath normally or walk.  The mom had come from working an 18 hour shift and we met in the waiting room while I was waiting for the OK to see Trey after his surgery.  I told her my story first and she got very emotional for me.  Then she told me hers and I felt sad and foolish. Despite all I’ve gone through, I’ll have 4 healthy kids eventually.  She won’t.

 

No matter how bad our situation might seem, someone else’s is always worse.  Be grateful for your time here; your connections; your blessings – live life in a way that honors the opportunity to simple be here.  Do what you need to do, want to do and are compelled to do right now.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

 

Thanks for the well wishes and calls.  Will try and update in the next day or so.

 

By the way, I told that mom that the doctors are just men and women.  They aren’t God and they aren’t in charge of the Master Plan.  Keep the faith.

 

Love,

Tami

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Sorry for the impersonal email but there’s just not enough hours in the day to reach out to everyone individually!

 

As you know, I’ve been working with Trey’s medical team to wean him off of his ventilator and get rid of his trach.  The local docs finally referred me to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital where I took him in May.  After a battery of tests and hours of meetings with various specialists, we found out good news and bad news – but it’s all good info. 

 

The good news is that Trey’s lungs are bad but not as bad as we thought.  They are healing and have demonstrated that they’re stronger and work better than we’d been led to believe. We’ve been taking him off of the ventilator for an hour a day and he’s done great!  Within a year, we should be able to wean him down to only needing the vent at night – very exciting!

 

The bad news is that Trey has no upper airway.  Airways are several inches in diameter to allow airflow into our lungs.  Trey’s airway is about half the size of the opening of a straw.  This explains why the situation becomes critical when his trach comes out.

 

I’m taking Trey back to Cincin. tomorrow where he’ll have airway reconstruction surgery on Thursday.  This is a very delicate procedure where they take cartiledge from his rib and create a new airway for him.  Trey will be in the hospital for about 2 weeks and then we need to go back every 5 days or so for additional testing.  We’ll be in Cincinnati until early September.  After that, we’ll go back every 6-12 weeks.  Yeeha! J

 

I’ll have my cell and will be checking email.  I’ll send a note within a few days of the surgery to let everyone know how he’s healing.  I’ll be staying at a long-term stay hotel.  I’m also set up for Skype if you’re familiar with that.

 

The hardest part just might be not seeing the other kids for almost a month!

 

I’m not at the freaking out yet but probably within the next 8 hours! In the end, it’s all good! Having a kid with no equipment, getting the nurses out of my house and not having intimate relationships with Trey’s docs will be a welcome change!  If all goes well, we’re about 9 months from that.

 

Send your thoughts and prayers.  Talk to you soon.

 

Love,

Tami

 

Last night I was contemplating on what I’d say to you all this morning – on this Monday – the first day of the last week of our 90 day fast track.  I wanted to convey the sheer possibility of what could be accomplished in THESE 5 DAYS.  I wanted to tell you that anything was possible and so I offer you this.

 

You all are already champions for making it to the last week of our 90 day fast track.  You’ve overcome personal challenges and still you pushed on.  You’ve overcome professional disappointments and still you pushed on.  You’ve supported your teammates when you were the one who needed support and you pushed yourselves beyond what you thought was possible just 85 days ago.  And today, I’m going to ask you to keep pushing.  Don’t slow down because you’re at the end.  Don’t ease up on the gas because you haven’t achieved all of your goals.  We don’t drive a car by looking in the rearview mirror.  I’m asking you to see what I see – the pure opportunity in THESE 5 DAYS.

 

You see, you have no idea what 5 days could mean to your life.  I remember talking to the doctor in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit the day my twins were born, weighing 1 lb. 12oz.  The doctor told me, “We can’t give you any guarantees, Tami.  They are very small and very very sick. Today is Tuesday, if they live to the end of the week, we’ll be able to have a slightly different conversation next week but we have to get through these 5 days first.”  They lived those 5 days and beyond.  They celebrated their 3^rd birthday last Saturday.  My faith and focus during those 5 days, became the foundation for the next 5 days and the 5 days after that…In THOSE 5 DAYS, they showed a lifetime of strength.

 

I have a new business partner who signed up earlier this month. Here’s how 5 days went for him. On Day 1, he signed up; on Day 2, he got me on the phone with 7 people; on day 3, he drove 5 hours to a webcenter training; on Day 4, he booked 2 website appointments and and we did a webinar for his prospects from Day 2; and on Day 5, we started the ABC pattern with his best prospect.  She signed up last week. And is signing up her first partner this week.  I asked him a simple question on Day 1, “What are you willing to do THESE 5 DAYS to reach your goals?”

 

Do you know all that you can accomplish in THESE 5 DAYS?

 

1.      You could make 3 calls to potential business partners each day.  That would lead to 15 people.  If you showed the plan to 10 of them, you’d find 2 new business partners.  You could get activated.  You could help someone else get activated.  You could add 2 people to your team that might become Directors.  You could do that in THESE 5 DAYS.

2.    You could approach 2 people a day about product.  That would lead to 10 potential customers.  According to the numbers, you’d have 2 new preferred customers. The plan only calls for 10-15.  These 2 preferred customers could lead to referrals for more customers.  Those customers could host a health seminar for you.  They could host a Motives event. You could do that in THESE 5 DAYS.

3.    You can take another look at your Local Challenge or an upcoming Regional Challenge.  You could make a real dent in the requirements or even achieve them with enough focus.  You could do that in THESE 5 DAYS.

4.    If you signed up but never got up, here’s how you could use THESE 5 DAYS.  Day 1: Pull out your subscription kit and listen to the CDs that came with it; Day 2: Sit down and write out a goal that you’d like to achieve in the next 3 months; Day 3:  Sit down and write a list of at least 25 potential customers and business partners – judging no one; Day 4: Call your sponsor and tell them “I’m ready to take action” and schedule time with them the very next day to take action on your names list; Day 5: Take action and make a plan to take more action.  You could take the first steps toward developing your Plan B or, in this economy, a solid Plan A.  You could do this in THESE 5 DAYS.

You’d be amazed at what you can do in THESE 5 DAYS. 

 

I’m issuing you all challenge.  I want you to commit to the following for THESE 5 DAYS.  And I want you to track results in every single area I’ve listed below.  Are you ready to change lives, starting with your own?  Here it is:

 

 FOR THESE 5 DAYS:

·        Detox your body – whether it’s the Nutriclean detox, the Transitions detox or the Lemonade diet –  it doesn’t matter.  Get the toxins out of your body and health and vitality with flow in.  What better way to take on a challenge but to have your body working with you, not against you?

FOR THESE 5 DAYS…

·        Detox your mind – Turn off the radio, the news and the television.  Every day, as often as possible, listen to something positive.  You need your conscious mind and your subconscious mind on your side.

FOR THESE 5 DAYS…

·        Manage your relationships – tell whoever you need to that for THESE 5 DAYS, you need them to support your massive action.  They can handle it. It’s only for THESE 5 DAYS.

FOR THESE 5 DAYS…

·        Manage your time – If something can wait until next week, postpone it.  Move all social events to next week.  Do all activity that is not results producing after 10pm. Get up an hour earlier.  Stay up an hour later.  You need as much time as possible to take massive action.

FOR THESE 5 DAYS…

·        Treat your Market America business like your job – If you didn’t show up to work for 5 days without a really good reason, you’d be fired.  If you didn’t do what you were supposed to do for 5 days, you’d be fired.  If you didn’t get done what you were supposed to get done and you had 5 days to do it, you’d be fired. If you came consistently late, left early and took long lunches, you’d be fired.  Put on your business clothes, your game face and work as hard for yourself as you work for other people.

EACH DAY, FOR THESE 5 DAYS…

TAKE MASSIVE ACTION

 

·        4 times per day – morning, noon, evening and before bed — read your goal statement, visualize it actually happening, feel the way you would feel when you achieve it.

·        Whatever the number of calls you were making during the fast track (10, 5 or 3), double it.

·        Whatever the number of appointments you were making during the fast track (3, 2, 1), double it.

·        Add 4 new names to your list daily.

·        Secure 2 new customers.

·        Go to or participate in a Market America event every day this week with someone.

·        Call your senior partner daily to tell him/her what you did that day.

·        Each night, write down 5 things that you accomplished and 5 things that you are grateful for, before you go to sleep.

 

This is total immersion and the results that you will create will astound you!  Tell people you’re doing this and invite them to join in! 

 

At the end of THESE 5 DAYS, go to my website (www.tamigaines.com) and click on “blog” on the home page.  You’ll see this posting.  I want you to post your 5 day results, no matter how big or small.  We will celebrate them all!  You might find that the results of THESE 5 DAYS were greater than the results of your entire 90 day fast track!

 

Imagine the ripple effect that will happen on our team and those we’re connected to if everyone did for the NEXT 5 DAYS what you did during THESE 5 DAYS.  

 

The promise of the future is a powerful force.  For every promise, there’s a price.  If the promise is clear, the price is easy.

 

 

I’m looking forward to reading those blog posts next weekend!